Earlier this year, I travelled with my family over a long weekend. It was a long trip and I slept about 5 hours total in the 2 previous days, so at 9pm, I fell asleep the moment my back touched the bed.
I had a lucid dream where I explained my budget for the next fiscal year to my new People Leader.
At 10pm I got a call. I woke up.
I forgot what the call was about. For it was that moment I realized how much work had overtaken my life.
I knew that I worked hard. I knew it took up a big chunk of my life. But that realization was terrifying because I couldn’t recalled the last time I wasn’t thinking about work.
I suddenly recalled the sleepless nights from 15 – 16 years ago, when I first got in to Civilization. “One more turn.” Funny how it was exactly what was happening right now.
One more action item, one more call, one more conversation,… and it would be right. I kept telling myself that every day.
With me on this trip were two books. The Stranger by Albert Camus and Wotakoi: Love is hard for Otaku Vol 1. The Stranger was not my favorite book, but it had my favorite twist. And I kept hallucinating myself shouting my truth to people around me. To actually show others how hardworking I had been. How much support I had felt lacking.
Like that ending.